Workout plans that never (ever) work out 

I set the alarm for 7:00 am. And then two more, one at 7:15 and one at 7:30.

Waking up at 7:30 shouldn’t be a problem. 

That’s what I thought. That’s what I always think before going to bed. But despite having 3-4 ‘pre alarm’ alarms screaming like police sirens right next to my ears, I never seem to want to leave the comfort and warmth of the cozy quilt. So I hit snooze. Again and again, and the alarm goes on ringing every 10 minutes for an hour more, sometimes two, until I realize that I might get late for work.

It’s okay. I can skip bath. And cooking too. 

When I finally decide to drag myself out of the bed, only because the maid won’t stop ringing the doorbell, I end up asking myself, with very little remorse ‘How did I get so late, again???’

Isn’t this the story of our lives? And by ‘our’ I mean individuals like me who are determined to go to all lengths possible, when we see a Deepika or a Priyanka flaunting their toned bodies in movies and Ads, to attempt to become fit, if not entirely toned like them. But come next morning, our perception of them would have changed to ‘They are paid for looking good. I’m not. I’d rather sleep until I can not physically sleep anymore’.

Getting inspired is the easy-peezy part. Anything can inspire you – a Nike ad, a pretty dress, a fit colleague, watching people burn it out at a gym through the window of your cab. Keeping the inspiration intact and finding it in the morning when it is most required is the tough part. I really admire the ones who do manage to work out everyday, and a bigger salute to those who wake up earlier than the symbolic rooster and are motivated enough to fit fitness regimes into their busy schedules. Those two are in fact the very words I use as an excuse for not working out. ‘Busy schedule’.

It’s not like I never tried. Months before going on a trek to Sar Pass, I walked and jogged and ran 5-6 kms every weekday (Weekends are cheat days. Universal code). With one of those fitness bands on my wrist at all times, I used to fervently count my number of steps, distance covered and calories burnt. Heck, I used to even climb 9 floors everyday to build stamina. Then, the trek got over and I told myself that I deserved some rest, which extended to weeks and then a month.

After that when I thought it was time to resume, I could no longer find my fitness band – How am I supposed to measure the distance covered now? No point strolling pointlessly in the park. Who needs fresh air anyway? 

And then I moved to an apartment in a crowded area on a very busy road, with no parks nearby.

I cannot be jogging in the dust-filled ring road! I don’t want to give myself a bunch of respiratory problems. Or worse still, what if some maniac runs over me? 

Found out that the apartment I live in has a gym.

No time in the evening, and cannot wake up early enough in the morning. And also, busy schedule, you know. 


Gym clothes are not washed, can not work out in jeans.


I didn’t get the recommended 8 hrs of sleep. SNOOZE.  

Online training videos? Did that too, for a while. But then, winter began, and winters are meant for sleeping tight in your snug little bed and spending an additional hour curling up in the bed staring at nonsense newsfeed on your phone with half shut eyes.

Having a workout partner helps. But even those partnerships are successful only when made in heaven. And mine was, well, just not made there. We went to the gym in our apartment and impressed ourselves on the first day by sweating it out for quite a while. Then, the next day she had an early shift, the day after which I had to leave early for work (I didn’t have to leave early, but I know she’ll read this and I have to share the blame, just because). This went on for a month. In our minds, we both knew we weren’t going again, though for the first two weeks we told ourselves that we’ll go the next day, pakka. 

With the same ‘partner’, I went to play badminton in a not-so-nearby sports club because, ‘Sports are fun. You don’t get bored, unlike going to the gym or following training videos’. I even bought a badminton racket instead of renting it, as we assured ourselves that THIS would be a regular thing. For an hour we played like Nadal and Federer would have, if in a parallel universe they were less than mediocre badminton players who made up their own rules due to the lack of knowledge of any existing rules. It sure was fun, but 250 bucks per hour seemed too much especially when we have a badminton court in our own apartment. Yes, there is no dearth of facilities in our apartment, just a deficiency of motivation. Since we enjoyed the game a lot, we finally decided that we would go play badminton every morning (free of cost) in our home sweet home.

Two weeks and countless excuses later, we still hit the snooze button until the maid rings the bell loudly enough to wake us all up. At some subconscious level we know that we won’t workout, at least not until the next eclipse maybe. I am absolutely sure about that. She still promises most nights to wake up  at 7:30 in the morning and then wake me up as well, though I know I can always expect a text from her post midnight saying ‘Had some work and slept very late. Calling off tomorrow’s game’. 

And our plight goes on.

P. S : This partner of mine cancels more than I do; almost 90% of the time it’s because all night she would have been watching this Hindi TV serial that she is addicted to.

P. P. S: Okay fine, I confess – every morning that we are supposed to play, I eagerly wait for her to cancel, because then I get someone ELSE to blame. *evil grin*

Also, I’m aware that Nadal and Federer are not badminton players.



3 thoughts on “Workout plans that never (ever) work out 

  1. very well written…greatly impressed by the heart pouring language you used. came across this thing while browsing. It touched my heart also since i am also in a same situation every morning and evening,trying to catch up a healthy routine. keep writing …all the best


  2. Very well written flowing narration..This reminds me my bangalore days in early 80’s used to calculate time required to get ready catch the bus ( had to change at Shivajinagar) grab a quick bfast and in the back at dot 10.30. Never wanted to reach even one minute early. Your last line was a dampner to my victory smile (within) ..was thinking that i have scored a sixer only to realise that the bails have come off ☺☺☺👌👌👌


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